All that can be sorted out quite well by asking what they think of the four Socialized values.:...
Empathy: can they imagine what others lives are like, are they willing to treat those others as they would wish to be treated if in their shoes.
Empowerment: Are they willing to help others to be all they can be and make the best for themselves, knowing that it is not a zero sum situation, and the advancement of others advances yourself as well.
Responsibility/accountabil
Reality: This should be universal, but unfortunately is not. There are ways to decide what is real for the most part, and what is phony or illogical and that needs to drive the decisions about what enhances or detracts from the other values and as a package.
From such understanding the way through all the flack can be much easier.